So it's 3 days before Christmas, and i have no money, well actually negative money, and i have a feeling that i'm going to be sad, because every year i wake up and i'm sad! Don't know why, i just am! Theres always just one thing i want! But somehow i know that will be screwed up! I'm just destined to be sad on Christmas!
I can't understand why i am so dissatisfied with everything. What do i want!?!? Someone tell me what will fulfill my needs and wants. I know what i think will make me happy....but will it really. I feel like i'm a drug user. I take my drugs i think will make me happy, but in all reality its making things worst in the long run!
Being bipolar is so much worst than being depressed. It's like people who know only one thing so they aren't missing anything! Except the idea. For me i know how good it feels to be happy. How much energy i have. How high above life i am. I know how good laughing feels. So when i suddenly switch to depression mode, i'm like fuck! i Hate my life. I feel like the happy will never come back!
Come back Happy!
Britny
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Be Brutally Honest!
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:
» I committed suicide:
» I said I liked you:
» I kissed you:
» I lived next door to you:
» I started smoking:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
» Personality:
» Eyes:
» Face:
» Hair:
» Clothes:
» Mannerisms:
WHAT ABOUT US:
» Who are you?
» Are we friends?
» When and how did we meet?
» How have I affected you?
» What do you think of me?
» What's the fondest memory you have of me?
» How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
» Do you love me?
» Have I ever hurt you?
» Would you hug me?
» Would you kiss me?
» Would you fuck me?
» Are we close?
» Emotionally, what stands out?
» Do you wish I was cooler?
» On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
» Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
» Am I loveable?
» How long have you known me?
» Describe me in one word.
» What was your first impression?
» Do you still think that way about me now?
» What do you think my weakness is?
» Do you think I'll get married?
» What about me makes you happy?
» What about me makes you sad?
» What reminds you of me?
» What's something you would change about me?
» How well do you know me?
» Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
» Do you think I would kill someone?
» Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
» I committed suicide:
» I said I liked you:
» I kissed you:
» I lived next door to you:
» I started smoking:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
» Personality:
» Eyes:
» Face:
» Hair:
» Clothes:
» Mannerisms:
WHAT ABOUT US:
» Who are you?
» Are we friends?
» When and how did we meet?
» How have I affected you?
» What do you think of me?
» What's the fondest memory you have of me?
» How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
» Do you love me?
» Have I ever hurt you?
» Would you hug me?
» Would you kiss me?
» Would you fuck me?
» Are we close?
» Emotionally, what stands out?
» Do you wish I was cooler?
» On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
» Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
» Am I loveable?
» How long have you known me?
» Describe me in one word.
» What was your first impression?
» Do you still think that way about me now?
» What do you think my weakness is?
» Do you think I'll get married?
» What about me makes you happy?
» What about me makes you sad?
» What reminds you of me?
» What's something you would change about me?
» How well do you know me?
» Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
» Do you think I would kill someone?
» Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Christopher Michael is a FAG!!!!
Too busy!?!?!?!?!!?....too busy!!
So your to busy to talk to me! But not to busy to play the guitar because your bored! oh i'll kill you!!! i'll kill you! Here comes my homicidal - ness again!
He makes me so angry! actually, i don't really mind! i just feel like bitching because i'm stressed! Ranting helps me get everything out without actually getting everything out! i love the act of ranting. Tiss great! Only problem is the person i rant to gets yelled at. But who cares....just a casual casualty! hah...funny. anywho...my bf won't talk to me so i'm talking to myself on this blog! lame!
peace
♥
britny
So your to busy to talk to me! But not to busy to play the guitar because your bored! oh i'll kill you!!! i'll kill you! Here comes my homicidal - ness again!
He makes me so angry! actually, i don't really mind! i just feel like bitching because i'm stressed! Ranting helps me get everything out without actually getting everything out! i love the act of ranting. Tiss great! Only problem is the person i rant to gets yelled at. But who cares....just a casual casualty! hah...funny. anywho...my bf won't talk to me so i'm talking to myself on this blog! lame!
peace
♥
britny
Lonely Night = Emo Girl
so yeah...
I haven't written down my thoughts in awhile, and i just realized that i cannot remember my past thoughts, even memories, unless i write them down. So basically i have lost about a year of my life. Cool. I think i just figured out why i keep blowing up at people... because i don't write how i'm feeling out.
So this month i've discovered that anyone can think like a serial killer. Or at least i can. Okay maybe not a serial killer, but i can understand why some one would kill. Fury just boils inside and it fills every part of your body until theres not a limb left to fill, and BOOM. My world explodes. I fill like that now, but i feel better writing about it.
So i'm not sure why i don't expect this depression every year at this time, by now! It's like clockwork. October through all of December is hectic and suicidal. Nothing goes right, it just can't. Thriller and Grinch....by the end i wonder why i didn't kill someone, or myself. But this is awful. I feel like we have been stressing and working, for nothing.
It's like i like being sad, but if you knew me and knew what i put myself through, than you'd think i like stressing myself out. I load myself up with shit that i think i can accomplish in a timely fashion, but it never happens.
Wow, i love how i'm ranting on a blog that no one is going to read. Yeah, i'm most def. Emo!
I'm in a really weird mood, i want to lay in the rain, only problem is its not raining, just really windy and cold. i want to write a book, i want to play DDR, i want to snuggle, i want to learn something new, i want to pull everything together and make everything work, i want to make me and everyone around me happy.
I WANT I WANT I WANT!!!!
♥
Britny
I haven't written down my thoughts in awhile, and i just realized that i cannot remember my past thoughts, even memories, unless i write them down. So basically i have lost about a year of my life. Cool. I think i just figured out why i keep blowing up at people... because i don't write how i'm feeling out.
So this month i've discovered that anyone can think like a serial killer. Or at least i can. Okay maybe not a serial killer, but i can understand why some one would kill. Fury just boils inside and it fills every part of your body until theres not a limb left to fill, and BOOM. My world explodes. I fill like that now, but i feel better writing about it.
So i'm not sure why i don't expect this depression every year at this time, by now! It's like clockwork. October through all of December is hectic and suicidal. Nothing goes right, it just can't. Thriller and Grinch....by the end i wonder why i didn't kill someone, or myself. But this is awful. I feel like we have been stressing and working, for nothing.
It's like i like being sad, but if you knew me and knew what i put myself through, than you'd think i like stressing myself out. I load myself up with shit that i think i can accomplish in a timely fashion, but it never happens.
Wow, i love how i'm ranting on a blog that no one is going to read. Yeah, i'm most def. Emo!
I'm in a really weird mood, i want to lay in the rain, only problem is its not raining, just really windy and cold. i want to write a book, i want to play DDR, i want to snuggle, i want to learn something new, i want to pull everything together and make everything work, i want to make me and everyone around me happy.
I WANT I WANT I WANT!!!!
♥
Britny
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