Lonely Night = Emo Girl

so yeah...
I haven't written down my thoughts in awhile, and i just realized that i cannot remember my past thoughts, even memories, unless i write them down. So basically i have lost about a year of my life. Cool. I think i just figured out why i keep blowing up at people... because i don't write how i'm feeling out.
So this month i've discovered that anyone can think like a serial killer. Or at least i can. Okay maybe not a serial killer, but i can understand why some one would kill. Fury just boils inside and it fills every part of your body until theres not a limb left to fill, and BOOM. My world explodes. I fill like that now, but i feel better writing about it.
So i'm not sure why i don't expect this depression every year at this time, by now! It's like clockwork. October through all of December is hectic and suicidal. Nothing goes right, it just can't. Thriller and Grinch....by the end i wonder why i didn't kill someone, or myself. But this is awful. I feel like we have been stressing and working, for nothing.
It's like i like being sad, but if you knew me and knew what i put myself through, than you'd think i like stressing myself out. I load myself up with shit that i think i can accomplish in a timely fashion, but it never happens.
Wow, i love how i'm ranting on a blog that no one is going to read. Yeah, i'm most def. Emo!

I'm in a really weird mood, i want to lay in the rain, only problem is its not raining, just really windy and cold. i want to write a book, i want to play DDR, i want to snuggle, i want to learn something new, i want to pull everything together and make everything work, i want to make me and everyone around me happy.


I WANT I WANT I WANT!!!!

♥
Britny